Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
