so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
