I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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