Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
