Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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