This house was built for laser tag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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