i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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