So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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