Cold hands, warm shart.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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