i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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