I just made out with a guy for $7.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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