it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
