I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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