Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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