The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
