Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
