Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
