Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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