I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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