My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
