In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
