they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
