Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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