69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
birth control should be required to get into college
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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