in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
