Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
