But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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