hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
