dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
