I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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