Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
