As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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