Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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