Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
