Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
