ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
