i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
