a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
