He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize