I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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