so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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