just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
