I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
