Jerry, you need to find god
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Girls should come with a carfax report
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
