But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize