I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
worst night to have a conscience
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
