Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
