Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
