so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
