and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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