There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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