Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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