i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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