so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She needs sedatives and a leash
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
