so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am one with the molecules
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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