i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
as a side note pls kill me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
