She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
