I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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