remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
