i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
