So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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