Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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