so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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