They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sobbing to NWA
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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