she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
only if we run a train.
done.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
