I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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